40+ and Owning It: The Beauty Evolution Inside and Out

The Quiet Confidence of Midlife Skin (Yes, Really)

In my 20s and 30s, I wasn’t chasing a glow—I was just trying to find something, anything, that didn’t leave my skin oily, angry, or looking like it a map for connect the dots. Everything either made my pores look bigger, triggered redness, or turned me into a shiny mess by noon. Fast-forward to now, and somehow—despite the hormonal chaos and the occasional new forehead crease—my skin is softer, smoother, and far more even than it ever was in those “prime” years. Rosacea and all.

And no, it’s not because I’ve discovered the fountain of youth. It’s because I’ve finally ditched the synthetic-laden, pore-suffocating nonsense and leaned into natural, nourishing oils that respect my skin instead of bullying it into submission.

 

The Botox Conversation I Wasn’t Expecting 

At about 38 years old I decided to treat myself to something special: answers. I booked an appointment with a highly revered dermatologist—not for vanity, but for a mole on my cheek and the forever drama that is my rosacea. He took one look at me and casually launched into, “We can try laser and creams, but it’ll cost a fortune and might not actually help.”

And then, with the kind of clinical bluntness only a man with zero chill could offer, he said: “You know what might actually make you happier with the results? Botox. Maybe a little filler. You train right? you know I treat a lot of athletes because the face looses so much fat …..”  ok thanks buddy. Thumbs up for your sales tactics.  

I was mortified. Sure, I’d always known my “11s” (those deep vertical lines between the brows) had been around since childhood— I looked perpetually concerned, like a toddler version of someone calculating mortgage rates. It had gotten so bad by my late 30s that I’d wake up massaging my forehead, trying to release the tension between the eyes. Anyways, it stayed with me and I digested the idea.

A year later, I decided to give Botox a try. Just Botox—not the fillers (those still make me nervous). And honestly? No regrets. It was a choice, not an obsession. I kept it subtle—a little softening between the brows, a gentle lift around the eyes. But over time, even that light touch began to feel off. I didn’t feel like me. So, I’ve stopped. I didn't believe in the "every 4 months" theory and hated that, at times, I looked like a deer in the headlights even though I had such small doses... 

The lines returned—the “11s” came back to claim their space—and surprisingly, I didn’t panic. In fact, I’m learning to appreciate them. These are the time stamps of a full, expressive life. And while a little help now and then isn’t a betrayal of self-love, true acceptance? that’s the most powerful gift we can give ourselves.

 

The Skincare Ritual That Changed Everything

What I love about pure, natural ingredients is the simplicity. When I apply my products, I know exactly what’s going on my skin. I’m not dealing with long ingredient lists that sound like they belong in a chemistry lab or those pesky, hard-to-pronounce chemicals that fill up drugstore shelves. Sure, natural ingredients can cause reactions—after all, even the gentlest plant-based oils can trigger sensitivities for some. But what I’ve learned is that synthetic fillers and harsh chemicals in mainstream cosmetics are a whole different beast. I'll dive into this in a later post.  Some might even give you instant results or promises of perfection, but often at the cost of your skin’s long-term health. Some are even hormone disrupters! Eeeek no thanks.

When I’m using a product, I want to feel good about it—inside and out. Every time I press a few silky drops of my facial oil into my cheeks, I’m not hoping to erase time—I’m respecting where I’ve been, and taking care of where I’m going.

Embracing the Mirror—Even On the Weird Days

 

Let’s be honest: not every day is a glowy goddess moment. Some days you catch your reflection and think, “Who is that tired woman and what the heck is this chin hair doing here?” But those days are part of the story too.  Self-care isn’t just oils and serums and pretty rituals. Self-care is also acceptance. Let that sink in. 

Being kind to yourself—especially in the quiet, mirror-facing moments—is one of the most powerful things you can practice. Talk to yourself like someone you care about. Gently. With humor. With grace. I’m still learning that part, and I stumble often, but I keep showing up for myself.

Aging doesn’t mean letting yourself go. It means coming back to yourself. And there’s beauty in that—yes, even if your forehead is trying to become a topographic map.  

There comes a point where you’ve done everything you can to hold onto that plump, youthful glow—but eventually, you begin to realize that true beauty runs deeper. It shows up in our expressions, our laughter, our kindness. The warmth in a smile, the spark in a conversation, the soft lines from a life well-lived—these are the marks of a face that has felt deeply. And that, at any age, is beautiful.

What I Know Now (That I Wish I Knew Then)

• Your skin doesn’t need punishment. It needs patience. You need to learn what ingredients work with your skin, what it really needs.
• Hormones are unpredictable, but you? You’re solid gold. 
• A consistent, clean skincare routine will do more for you than any “miracle” product ever could.  They are often pure BS to be honest… beware.
• Confidence looks better than Botox. (And lasts longer, frankly.)
• If you’re going to pluck that chin hair, do it in good lighting and with dignity. ( best advice I ever got was to keep a plucker in the car… the sun, that mirror, perfect combo to catch those sneaky suckers ) 

Final Thought: You’re Not Fading, You’re Refining

So no, I don’t want to look 25 again. I want to look like me—rested, radiant, and unfazed by trends that promise perfection. Aging isn’t a failure; it’s proof we’re still here, still evolving, still showing up.  

A little help here and there? Totally your call—no shame in that. But I do wish we’d stop feeling the need to erase ourselves completely. It’s starting younger and younger, and honestly, I worry about where it’s all headed. At some point, you reach your 40s and might find yourself wondering, “What was I ever supposed to look like?” There’s beauty in evolution, not in erasure.

Because aging isn’t something to battle—it’s something to embody. With each year comes more clarity, more confidence, and, if we're lucky, a bit more compassion for ourselves. We’ve earned every freckle, every laugh line, every mark. And while a great oil can soften the edges, it’s how we live, love, and show up for ourselves that leaves the most lasting glow.

40+ and Owning it - a movement? Might be a great one to take part in. 

Stay radiant.
Stay real.
See you next week. 💛

 

Steph

The Luxe Edit